their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
of course. lets lasso hookers.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
