the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
