Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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