I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
