You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
