Dual....:-)
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
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I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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