If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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