Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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