He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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