Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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