You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
