I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
