took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
