someone get that fucking seahorse.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
