i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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