I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
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He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
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Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I see more hoeing in ur future
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