i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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