Christians are straight up FREAKS
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
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