Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
