then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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