why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
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