weddingsv make me drug and hornr
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
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