**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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