I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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