Define "chronic" masturbator.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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