I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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