I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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