***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
