She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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