Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
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