I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
