In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
