he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You need a sexual gate keeper
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Who died my cat blue again?
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
