yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i think my cat just said my name.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Terrible idea I love it
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
