What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
