So drunk, too bad you don't want this
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
When are your genitals available?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Randomize
