I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
