i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
