please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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