haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Randomize
