Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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