i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
