final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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