on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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