Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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