naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
