i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
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his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
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apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.