He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.