k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
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she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
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Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Randomize
