is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.