I wanna bring you to show and tell
oh god the rape fog is back!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah