he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
