he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize