I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
