I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
