I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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