I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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