This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
Randomize
