I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize