thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
Randomize
