i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize