Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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