wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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