they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
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