I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Woke up next to a tiki torch spooning a plastic flamingo on a welcome mat i've never seen before with a "happy valentines day" balloon tied to my wrist, oh yeah and "i am a cougar" is written on my chest in sharpee and all the kitchen furniture is upside down...
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
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