I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Randomize
