so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
