i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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