He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
