Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
