ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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