I got chris browned last night
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Randomize
