Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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