So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
